Paying it Forward

Here is my youngest with an entire outfit (including the shoes, but not including the backpack) that were "hand me downs".  I have two gorgeous friends, Jenna and Amy, who have been so gracious enough to give me some  of their daughters' clothing that no longer fits.

And my youngest loves them as well!  It's like getting a whole new wardrobe (literally) of gorgeous clothes!  She is still at that age, where it doesn't "have" to be a name brand for her to wear it, but fortunately for her and me, some of the clothes ARE name brands.

To be able to have friends like that who share like that, are awesome!

I love doing the same as well and have clothes that I have set aside to give to a friend (actually 2 friends)

In times like these, it's always good to "Pay It Forward" whenever you can.  Whether it be passing clothes down to help defray costs of having to buy new ones, helping to watch their children, running an errand or two for them, or just helping out in any small way, even by listening, or inspiring someongANY little bit can help.

Let's face it.  Times are tough these days, some, more than others.   There are those, including myself, that are trying to live out their dreams of pursuing some sort of art, or career, or whatever, trying to make it on their own, and having that little bit of extra help, truly, TRULY means the world to us.

I used to be able to give more than I do now, but I still try to find some way to pay it forward,  in any way I can.  Or help out someone I care about in whatever small way that makes their life a tiny bit easier.

Do something nice and good for someone, because it IS the right thing to do.

And it makes the world a better place.

On Being A SAHM and Full-Time "Paid" Working Mom

I have been on both ends of this spectrum.

I have seen major debates on the "Stay At Home Mom (SAHM)" and the Full-Time Working Mom.  And thankfully most people are accepting of both.

I used to be a SAHM.  And I loved and cherished every moment of it.  Being able to be there for every little think that my child went through.  Keeping a clean house, meals on the tables.  You know, the whole June Cleaver, 1950's mom.

Yes, I missed being in the workforce and interacting with adults who got paid for their work.

My transition into the workforce was a slow one back.

We had moved out of state and really had no plans to come back.  But after a family member passed away I wanted to come back.  So we did.  And I started to work again.  Granted it was very minor, about 6 hours a week, I think, to start with.  But it was nice to have that little extra cash.

Then, slowly, I started working more hours and eventually I think I was up to 16-20 hours a week.  I worked as a bookkeeper for a private investigator.  My boss was the bomb.  He was SO accommodating to me when it came to my children.  I was able to bring them to work with me, heck, when I had my 2nd girl, he moved me into an office, got me a little portable crib/playpen, so I could bring her into work with me.  I didn't have to pay for childcare, and I was able to be with my girls.  I was able to take them to and from school.  I only would work while they were in school.  They got to come home right after school.

It was the ideal set up for me.

But as we all know, life does not stay the same.

There came a time when it was necessary for me to work full-time.  First it started off at 30 hours a week, and that meant that I needed to put my youngest in after-school care.  It was on the school grounds and so I felt very comfortable with that.  I had hoped to never have to do that, but it is  safe place, she has friends there, and she does her homework there and saves me the battles of having to have her do it at home.  An EXTREME plus in my book with the homework! :P

Then I was provided an opportunity to work full-time, with a different company that was able to pay a little bit more.  See, it was necessary for me to start becoming self-sufficient.  But this was something I wanted to do. Would I have loved to have continued to work part-time and be that "part-time" stay at home mom (if you even want to call it that, because a mom is a full-time position, no matter if you work away from the home ore not)?  Absolutely!  But I also wanted to be able to stand on my own two feet.

I am not one who sits back and lets others do for me, when I am completely capable of doing it myself.

Well, that full-time opportunity that I took, was one of the hardest 10 months of my life.  The owner was very difficult to work for.  In fact, about 2 weeks after I started there, I started putting my resume back out there again to look for something different.

About 10 months later, and 100's of resume's later, I got a call.   A phone interview, then an "in person" interview.  The interview went so well.  The whole weekend I was praying I would get an offer.  Monday morning came, I checked my email and sure enough the offer was there.  I grabbed it in a heartbeat.  This was it.  This was the position I was waiting for.  The position that offered me the best independence I could hope for.  The ability to help me stand on my own two feet.  The chance to work with some wonderful people.

Was the last job difficult?  OH yes, but I wouldn't trade it for the world because it provided me with the knowledge of a program I needed to obtain this job.

And I love this job.

And in the meantime of all of this, I am starting to realize some other dreams of mine.

Like becoming a professional photographer.

And with the EXTREME encouragement of my dear friend, Stacy, I am using my crocheting skills to create items to sell to others.  Hats, scarves, headbands, blankets, and I will be working on some clothing pieces soon too.

I am doing all of this for ME.  But not just for me.  For my girls.  To show them that they can, and should, be able to stand on their own two feet.  To realize that they can go for their dreams.

Empowerment.

Being a positive influence in the world.

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss

In honor of Dr. Seuss, whom I have loved since I was a little girl  I am reposting a post I did a few years ago when my little on was learning how to read:

Enjoy!

***************

Dr. Seuss, we do love you.
You make us rhyme with new blue goo.

Green Eggs and Ham
That Sam-I-Am

A Cat In The Hat
how about that?

My youngest is now starting to read
And a book from you is just what she needs.

She created a reading area in the hall
With stacks of books around her all.

I had gotten these books out from in a box
That belonged to her sister, including Fox in Socks.

I myself had read them here and there
When I was young I read them everywhere.

Fox in Socks is my favorite one.
The tongue twisting.....I got it done.

And here my youngest is, reading Green Eggs and Ham.
She loves the book, especially Sam-I-Am.

So Dr. Seuss, thank you so much for your wonderful words.
Your drawings, rhyming and odd looking birds.

Wordless Wednesday - my baby circa 2008

Foo Fighters Concert

Monday, October 17, 2011

 

Rewind to 1995.........

I'm a new mom.  I just had my oldest daughter and she was only a month or so old. 

This child of mine decided that she would not fall asleep any sooner than usually 2 a.m.

Which mean I was sitting in the living room, trying to soothe her, or feed her, or whatever, to try and get her to go to sleep.

In the meantime, I would watch TV.

Usually videos.

Then this one video showed up, and it showed up frequently.

It was this video.....

I'm watching this and thinking, "Hey, that looks like the drummer from Nirvana".  (And I was always a big Nirvana fan, from the very beginning.  I even have a couple of friends that were in their first video "Smells Like Teen Spirit")

Well, yes, it's Dave Grohl.  And his new band, The Foo Fighters.  And I'm thinking, "Cool, I'm glad to see Dave Grohl moving on since the death of Kurt Cobain)

I watched this video over and over every night.

It was the beginning of my love for Foo Fighters.

Fast Forward to 2011.......

I knew the Foo Fighters were coming to San Diego.  And I wanted to see them so bad.  Their music is AMAZING.

The past two albums I have received as either birthday presents or Mother's Day presents.

A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. music....

Before I became a mom, I vowed to always keep up on the current music, because I firmly believe that music is an integral part of a teenager's life.  I remember being a teenager.  I remember how important music was to me back then.

And I have kept up. 

And luckily, I have a daughter who loves music too.

And not only does she love current music, she loves "vintage" music as well.  She even likes The Beatles!  That's my girl!

And yes, she likes the Foo Fighters.

So a few days before the concert, I decided that I would get tickets.

And take my daughter to the concert.

And so I did.

And we had FUN!

And I enjoyed watching her at her first real rock concert.

And she love it.

And I'm happy that we have that relationship where she would want to go to a rock concert with me, her mom.  

And here we are, at the concert.

So thanks to her staying up so late as a baby, I loved the Foo Fighters from the very beginning. :)

Happy Birthday to My Baby!

Today my baby turns 9 years old.

Wow, this is her last year in the "single digits" age.

I always like to reflect back on their life so far on their birthdays.  Jordan didn't come into the world as most babies should, on time.

No, she came 6 weeks early.  I remember that day so vividly.  It was scary and exciting at the same time.  I was going to get to see my baby!  But oh no, my baby was coming too soon!  My friend, Michelle, was in the delivery room with me most of the day and I'm so glad she was there with me!

I so incredibly scared those first few days of her life.  When she was born, her lungs weren't fully ready to be used on their own.  She was on oxygen, and ended up having a collapsed lung and had to have a chest tube put in her.  

Like clockwork, I was in NICU to see her every 3 hours.  I made sure I pumped because I was going to make sure she got my milk, because I knew it was the best for her.  I probably had the quickest recover every from delivering a baby, because I was always walking over to NICU to be with her.  And thank goodness the hospital let me stay there, because there was no way I was leaving my baby.



Jordan a few days old



THANKFULLY she was able to go home after only just a week.  She recovered quickly and was strong.  She had jaundice for quite a while though.

Of course after that, she rarely let me sleep for more than a couple of hours at a time.   There were times that I had to put her in her car seat and I literally slept on the floor just so she would sleep for a little while.   I wasn't going to do the family bed with Jordan, but it ended up better, just so I could get some sleep.  And, for those of you non-believers, she sleeps FABULOUSLY now, in her own bed.

1 year old

Here she is at 1 year old.  as you can see she thrived very well her first year of life.  One thing about her is that she liked noises.  Maybe it was from being in NICU?  I have no idea.  But she was always making noises.  You can ask her sister, she will remember too.

Halloween 2003

2 years  old

One thing about her is that she's always busy with something, or curious about something.  She'll ALWAYS ask us "WHY"  And she has such a creative mind.  She will come up with the most interesting things.  One day in the car, she was sitting there and she had a notebook and she drew and created her own Superheroes!  Her imagination astounds me sometimes. 

She is also much more comfortable with "routines".  With my older one, I could put her in the parks and recs preschool here, which is 10 weeks and then off for 6 weeks.  She was fine with it.  This one?  Not so much.   Deviation from the routine would leave her in a quandry.  I found a Montessori Preschool which she ended up loving.  It was every day and she needed that.  She needed that continuity.  She still does.

3 years old

She has always loved to play dress up and was thrilled when her grandparents got her this dress for her birthday. I just love her smile.  It warms my heart every single time.

4 years old

Here is a prime example of her "spontaneous spirit".  She was in her nightgown and looked outside and saw leaves falling all over the place and so she wanted to go run around the backyard in them as they were falling and flying all over the yard.

She is one though that has always liked to be by my side and want me.  Even as a baby she did, but she was always so curious as to her surroundings.

 She can have her "oddities" as well.  She likes to have things a certain way.  That's not to say that she's neat. Not by a longshot.  In fact, she is most definitely the messiest person in this house.  And it drives her sister crazy too.  And I do get to a point where it does drive me crazy too, but I have to pick my battles with her.  She is one that knows what she wants.  And she is one where she will decide what time she is ready for something.  I tried to take her to swimming lessons and after the 2nd time, she was screaming to get out of the pool.  So we didn't continue.  But she swims just fine now.

There are times she has her certain habits, which drive some people crazy.  One time my cousin and her boyfriend came down to visit and after 1 day of it, her boyfriend called me a saint to be able to put up with everything she does.

I see the creativity in her.  I see the wheels turning.  I allow her to be creative in who she is.  And if it means being a messy person, so be it.

I do have to say that she does clean her room from time to time now, which is a feat in itself.

  She has the most amazing eyes, doesn't she?

To first know her, she is very shy.  But not as shy as she used to be.  You couldn't even get her to say Hi to you before, but now, she will at least do that.

But at school?  Geez, the girl had friends arguing over who gets to play with her.  I am dead serious.  And the thing is, is that she doesn't care, for the most part, who she plays with.

One time in Kindergarten, my friend, Sandra, came up to me one day and said that it was so sad, she saw her  on the playground by herself.  I told Sandra that that was because she didn't want to play with anyone.  That was her choice.  And maybe that's why kids are drawn to her, because she has such a laissaz faire attitude with it all.  Well, except when it comes to her sister, and or wanting something.  Then she is as stubborn as hell and will not stop.  And as annoying as it is now, it's going to be a big asset for her when she grows up.

And this girl is smart.  Boy is she smart.  I think things come fairly easily to her and she doesn't feel the need to have to try that hard.  At least when it comes to education.  SO FAR.

And with sports?  If she applied herself she could be a real athlete.  I see it in her.  But she comes off as goofy and uncoordinated, because I think she doesn't apply herself, because it's not that important to her.  Which is fine too.

I allow her to be who she is and who she wants to be.  I see the magic inside her.

Happy Birthday to my Sweet Baby J.

Simpler Things

This summer I brought back out the Popsicle molds I have, and by using Kool-Aid, or Juice, I have been making popsicles for the girls.  MUCH cheaper than buying them, that's for sure.

I have been having to go back to doing the "simpler" things in life, for economic reasons.

Growing up, I didn't have much.  I shared a bedroom with my 2 sisters, and my mom raised the 3 of us.  On her own.  We lived in a duplex so we did have a front yard which was very nice for us  It made the little place we lived in feel a little bigger.

Sometimes for dinner we would have soup and corn muffinsr, or peaches and cottage cheese, and my sisters and I thought that was the best!  Little did we know then, that that was all my mom could afford.  But she made things like that seem super special for us.

Sodas were a treat on the weekends, and weekends only.  Heck, going out to dinner was a REAL treat for us then, too, as it did not happen often at all.

I have found myself remembering those time and using them for a reference.

I do have it much better than my mom did, when she raised me and my two sisters.  I am definitely grateful for that.

But as little as we did have, we were happy.  We were grateful for the things we did have (and yes, we did envy our friends who had more, but it seemed they always liked being at our house).

And while being without certain things, we made due with what we had and learned how to do things, that maybe we wouldn't have learned how to do, had we had more things.

For example, I learned how to sew and crochet at a very early age (10).   Something I still need to teach my girls how to do.  Spending summers coloring, doing paint-by-numbers, coloring those HUGS posters with markers (do you remember those?)

A couple of weeks ago I was up in L.A., visiting my friend, Jayde.  While we were talking, some entertainers were getting ready to perform in the park across the street.  He and I went and watch and it was so entertaining to watch!  And the best part?  It was free!

Which got my mind thinking of all the activities that me and my girls could do that were free.  Like partake at a concert in the park.  Or go to the beach (yes, parking is free here in San Diego).  Or go to the park, or the library (as long as we return the books back on time...)

And these days they have these "daily save" emails that you can get from various places where you can buy "coupons" for a ridiculously low price.  I got the girls and I tickets to Knott's Soak City for $15 apiece, which is more than 1/2 off the normal price!  Or 2 for 1 movie tickets.  Or spend $5 and get $10 worth of food at Submarina, and things like that.

In this economy, these things are valuable.  And even more so for me.  Because it makes it possible for me to do these things, that I, otherwise wouldn't be able to afford to do.

It brings me back to when I was young, and also early on when my oldest was little and we had to "economize".    It helps to bring out the "creativity" in me.  To think "outside the box".

And I believe it is a valuable tool to teach my girls.  To help them appreciate more what they DO have.  And yes, they are going to wish they had other things.  They are going to wish they had more.  But, in reality, don't we all?  And that's okay to think that, or wish that, as long we DO appreciate what we DO have, and be grateful for that.

So tell me, what are some of the simpler things in life that you like to do?  I would love any and all of your suggestions.

Daughter

Okay, so she says she hates this picture but it's one of my favorites.

She is such an amazing person.

She is beautiful inside and out.

That is when she's being nice.

When she's being sarcastic, she's just like me.

And she hates that.

Or so she says.

But I think she likes it.

But that could just be me.

She loves having her back cracked.

And cracking just about every other joint in her body.

She loves Eminem.

And the Beatles.

And the Foo Fighters.

And Usher.

And Linkin Park.

And yes.......Justin Beiber.  Sigh....  ::::::::::: shaking head::::::::::::

She loves to sit and watch TV with me.

And yes, she does love her sister, even though they fight, what seems like constantly.

But I remember what it was like to have a little sister.

And yet, another reason she is like me.

She is a strong young lady.

Something I was NOT when I was her age.

She steps up when needed.

And I SO appreciate that.

I have always asked her to be honest with me.

Even if it's not something I always want to hear.

But she is far better at knowing herself than I was at her age.

She ROCKS at soccer.

And she's very intelligent as well.

She laughs at me when I swear.

But she can swear with the best of them.

Must be that red hair feisty-ness coming out in her.

My friend, Cindy, loves her when she sees her and basically shoves me out of the way to see her.

Kindred spirits, I think.

She shows compassion, humanity.

She once started a charity fundraiser at her school for the victim of Hurricane Katrina.

Her sarcasm, wit, dry humor and smiles are the bomb.

When people say we look alike, I find that to be such a compliment, because I think she is stunning.

I am so proud to call her my daughter.