Facebook Memories - 2012

 Almost daily I look at the Memories Facebook has for me.  It allows me to "go back in time" when I come across a post of mine.

Here is one from 14 years ago:

"J has a friend over, C has befriended a cat outside and I'm enjoying the cooler weather with having all the windows open"

This was literally 10 days after the girls and I moved from our house into a townhouse I rented (which I now own, well, I have a mortgage still....). This is such a memory that reminds me of the relaxing days we had when we moved here. The mood was instantly such more calm overall when we moved here. I remember unpacking during these first days and I remember saying aloud to my mom (who passed away in 2004), "See Mom, I did it! I have a place of my own now!"

My Grandparents Elopement

 

I have always known that my Grandparents (Melba and John) pictured here, eloped.  Her aunt, my great-aunt did not approve of my grandpa.  It wasn't until the last couple of years that I actually got to learn about the details of the elopment from memories of other family members, on both sides!   So here is their story:

   From his side of the family as told by his sister:  They met when my grandma would come back to Frankfurt to spend the summer with her dad (her mom died when she was 12, and her and her younger sister were sent to live with an aunt and uncle, and then with another aunt when the aunt and uncle got stationed in Puerto Rico).  They fell in love during one summer.  After several summers they wanted to get married.  

My grandma was supposed to leave to go back to Florida with her Aunt Edie, and sister, Joan, the next day.  They knew that if they were going to get married, it would have to be that day (her aunt did NOT approve of my grandpa).  

A friend of theirs had been playing in a band at a dance that evening.  After the dance, he drove them to Minnesota (there was not a waiting period there - similar to Las Vegas in today's world).  His sister, my great-aunt, Lucille, was asleep on the front porch, and around 3:00 a.m., my grandma's Aunt Edie and her brother, Art, came looking for them.  They were so upset and woke up the whole house.  

My great-grandpa, Owen (my grandpa's dad) asked my great-uncle, Ken (my grandpa's brother) if he knew where my Grandpa John was.  He lied and said he didn't know, but in reality, he did know.  He was covering for his brother.  One of my grandpa's other sisters, Helen also knew where they were, as my grandma had borrowed a night dress and nylons, but she covered for my grandma and grandpa as well.    

When they returned, they were married.  My grandma's dad was nice about it and my grandpa's family just adored my grandma.  My Great-Great Aunt Edie and my Great Aunt Joan returned to Florida without my grandma (obviously).  

From her side of the family, as told by her brother, Art:  He was not living in Frankfurt at that time, but was coming up from Watertown, as Aunt Edie, my grandma (Melba)  and my great-aunt Joan (my grandma's sister) were in town and he wanted to see them.  He had asked Aunt Edie if his girlfriend, Shirley could come up to spend the weekend with the family so Shirley could meet them all.  Shirley came and visited, but my Grandma Melba was nowhere to be found. 

His dad and Aunt Edie were very upset as they thought Melba and John were going to get married.  So they all drove to Minneapolis, Minnesota to try and prevent the wedding. They went to two different courthouses, one in Minneapolis and one in St. Paul, but were unable to find Melba and John.  (Turns out they went to Albert Lea, Minnesota to get married).

So the weekend my Uncle Art brought his girlfriend, Shirley, to meet the family, was also the weekend that his sister, my grandma eloped.

My grandma and grandpa John lived in a small apartment on Main Street.  My grandpa John worked part-time for his dad, Owen, in a grain elevator and also worked on a farm.  My Uncle Dan was born July 20, 1942.  Shortly after he was born, my Grandpa John and his friend drove to California to see if they could find better work out there.  Once he found work, my Grandma and my Uncle Dan moved to California as well.  My mom was born in California.

The other information I have known from my mom:  After they were married, my grandpa got her period and needed supplies.  My Grandpa John offered to go to the store and get her supplies.  When asked if he wanted a bag, he said no, and proudly displayed his purchase walking down Main Street.  He wanted everyone to know that they got married because they were in love, and NOT pregnant.  My grandma did get pregnant with my uncle that fall though.

They had a nice life in California.  They lived in an apartment in Hollywood and saved up to buy a house in Burbank.

If you are wondering why I call my grandpa my grandpa John, is because I never got the chance to meet him.  When my mom was 13, he passed away from cancer.  I think of my grandma and how devastated she must have been. 

A New Way To “Read”

 =Ever since I learned how to read i was always reading books of some sort.   From “Little House in the Prairie” series my Grandma use to give me for birthdays and Christmas (yes, I still have them), to Nancy Drew, Judy Blume, 80’s Teen Romance (remember P.S. I love you?) Gone With the Wind, Stephen King books, V.C. Andrews “Flowers In The Attic” series,  etc

There was even one time when Deathly Hallows came out.   I got it that morning, I made food for my daughters and told them that I would be reading it all day long (I wasn’t going to make the mistake again of going out in the world to over here, someone spoil a book for me)

These days I have gotten back into reading Now that my daughters are both adults and are out in the world on the road. Except instead of actually reading, I am listening to audiobooks, as it makes more sense for me and my life.

Thank goodness for the app Libby, Because I get to borrow audiobooks and listen to them through my phone. And I’m very thankful for my oldest daughter to give me recommendations of books to Listen to as well as Some friends’  recommendations as well.

I remember back in high school I would read a Stephen King book and I would be up till two or 3 o’clock in the morning in the summertime because I literally just couldn’t put it down. I am finding that way happening again with Audiobooks as well.

This brings back such great memories of me reading all the time back then and being able to fit it into my life again. It’s always good to go back to things that you used to love doing before and find a way to be able to incorporate in your life again. 

15 Years Later

Yesterday was the 15 year anniversary of my job. 15 years.  That's a long time! 

It got me to thinking about what has happened over the last 15 years.

I got this job.  This job allowed me to have vacation and sick time, the ability to take time off if my girls were sick, or had an event at school where I could go be with them.  A 401k, etc......

A friend once told me years ago, to not look back at yesterday or the past week, or even the past month, for when I felt like I was struggling.  Look back even further and it will allow me to see the progress I have made.

So looking 15 years later from where I was to where I am now, and I am grateful.  Grateful for my job.  Grateful that almost 14 years ago I had a landlady who chose me to be her tenant so that me and my girls could have a place to live.

Grateful that 9 years ago, my landlady sold this place to me.  Grateful that I had friends that supported me in helping me to find a loan and friends that encouraged me to buy it.

15 years ago I had a small side crochet business where I made funny hats for a little extra money, that lasted a couple of years.

Grateful that 15 years ago, with the encouragement of a dear friend, to start a photography business where I specialized in high school senior portraits.  That photography business lasted 12 years, and brought in extra money so that me and my daughters could go do things.  We even had passed to Disneyland for a couple of years.

Grateful that even through all the trials and tribulations with previous partners, I'm at a place where I have a really great guy, and we are best friends and each other's "person".

Have there been rough patches throughout the years?  Oh yes, definitely.  Sometimes I get inside my own head and worry about the "what ifs" and it really affects me.  But then I have these days when I look back and realize how far I HAVE come.

15 years later and my girls have both graduated college, and have moved out and are independent.  So incredibly proud of them.

Sometimes it definitely gets lonely being an "empty nester" for sure, but it also pushes me to keep moving forward towards other things. 

This is just a reminder, for me, and a thank you to that friend for telling me that one time to look back at my life and see how far I have come.

Empty Nester

 In September 2012, my daughters and I moved into a townhouse when the house was sold, and separation/divorce had been happening. This is the view of what was their rooms from my bedroom.   

This morning I woke up and while looking at this view, it brought back all the memories I have had when they both lived here. I'm so grateful in the fact that I was able to find a place where they could continue having their own rooms.  

Almost 9 years ago, my landlady decided she was going to sell this house and would I be interested?  Of course!  The only thing was that I had no real savings to put down on anything, and then she took forever to tell me the price. I was fortunate enough to have a wonderful friend who is a realtor and found me a loan with no money down, low closing costs and no PMI. With that information, I started looking at other places in case my landlady came back with a price too high for me.  My girls and I looked at 3 bedroom places, and even 2 bedroom places. Because there was a chance I couldn't afford a 3 bedroom condo/townhouse.  But alas, my landlady came back with a price that worked perfectly for me and I was fortunate enough that my girls and I stayed here.

So when I look at this view I still see the way their rooms were decorated when they still lived here (this is DEFINITELY now how it looked back then) and the life we have had here together.  About two years after actually getting to call this place my own, my oldest moved out, having graduated college and secured herself a job where she was able to support herself.

And in January of this year, my youngest moved out, after having graduated and securing a job to support herself as well.  I knew the time was coming and I had been worrying about living alone and being lonely without either one of my daughters living here.  But I also knew that my job as a mom was also to raise them to be able to live on their own and create their lives.

So I did what I always to and plan.  One has become a guest bedroom and the other one is my craft/little people collection room. I already have friends and family planning to come and visit.

So now I'm in the "empty nester" phase of my life.  And so far?  It's been great!  I can decorate it however I want, I can do whatever I want and work to make it a place of tranquility and also a place where my daughters are always welcome.

Yes, there are still a few times where I miss them, but this morning was a time for reflecting the memories in this house when we all lived here together, and smiling about it.