Monday, October 31, 2011

Shining Through

I have embarked on a journey this year that actually started a while back.

A journey of my creativity.

A journey that has started and stalled here and there.

A few years ago, a dear friend of mine encouraged me to create, using my crochet skills.  I opened an etsy store,  with some scarves, beanies and headbands.  I actually had one of my items show up on the front page of etsy!  This was the item:

And while I had the encouragement and support of friends and most of my family, I had negative energy that caused me to doubt myself, and I thus abandoned this store.  I also didn't have the knowledge of how to pursue, showcase, network myself effectively out there.

During this I also had decided to pursue my photography as well.

I became immensely interested in sports photography.  Here is one of my pieces:

And during that time, I made a few connections.  I was doing this.  I was going to pursue this.  But then yet again, negative energy entered and, while I didn't completely abandon it, I let it fall wayside.

This year, I decided I wanted to pursue my creativity.  But which path?  Which creative endeavor to follow?  What would I do?

I was discussing this with my dear friend Stacy delaRosa.  In these talks she highly encouraged me to take this e-course by Kelly Rae Roberts, Flying Lessons: Tips and Tricks To Help Your Creative Business Soar.

It was within this e-course that I found my creative self.

It was within this e-course that I found my encouragement.

My dreams.

My wishes.

What I wanted to do.


It was there I found the tools I needed to help me along the way.

My journey.

I was also steered toward this book:  A Place of Yes, 10 Rules for Getting Everything You Want Out of Life, by Bethenny Frankel.   This book spoke to me.    It helped me to realize a lot of things in my life.

I was simultaneously reading this book and taking Kelly Rae's e-course.

It helped me to realize that while there is negativity that will intrude in my life,  I can still shine.  I can choose to go with the ebbs and flows of life, and keep pursuing my dreams.

During the start of Kelly Rae's e-course one of the gorgeous ladies posted this of which I wrote down:

"I believe in myself
I believe in my dreams
I believe in me!
I believe in my talent
I believe in my creativity
I believe in my skill
I believe in my heart
I believe in my soul
I believe in my life
I believe in love
I believe in happiness
I believe it is possible
I believe I can do it
I believe....I just do"

This is a mantra I have written down so I can  see every day.

And speaking of these gorgeous ladies, I have come to forge bonds with these ladies.

These gorgeous, wonderful, creative, inspiring women.

We encourage each other.

We support each other.

We are taking this journey together.

We will make it happen.

So please visit them as well, and show your support for them, for me, for all of us.  We are living our dreams, we are going to make them come true.

Beth Cougler Blom
Carmen Patti – www.
Cindy Jones Lantier -- 
Hillary Courson -- 
Julie Hamilton
Kris Lanae Binsfeld -
Liza Zeni Baker -
Stacey Chadwick Brown -
Teresa Cash-Czech

Friday, October 28, 2011

Starbucks and a Friend

taken with iphone hisptamatic

Up until early this year, I had never really drank coffee.


I never liked it.

And actually, I still don't.

But I do drink espresso.

In Mochas.

And Frappuccinos.

So this morning I went to get my Friday Frappuccino.

And hoping to run into one of my dear friends.

And I did.

And so we stood and talked.

For like a half hour.

And I enjoyed it.

I've known her for over 12 years.

And I tell her just about everything.

And she listens.

She knows me.

And if I change my mind and decide to do something else after I told her I was going to do one thing, she says, "Well, it's your choice".

And she's right.

It is my choice.

She doesn't judge me.

And I like that.

And she still laughs at me for drinking espresso now.

Because I told her I would never do that.

But I changed my mind.

It's my choice.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Foo Fighters Concert

Monday, October 17, 2011
Rewind to 1995.........

I'm a new mom.  I just had my oldest daughter and she was only a month or so old. 

This child of mine decided that she would not fall asleep any sooner than usually 2 a.m.

Which mean I was sitting in the living room, trying to soothe her, or feed her, or whatever, to try and get her to go to sleep.

In the meantime, I would watch TV.

Usually videos.

Then this one video showed up, and it showed up frequently.

It was this video.....

I'm watching this and thinking, "Hey, that looks like the drummer from Nirvana".  (And I was always a big Nirvana fan, from the very beginning.  I even have a couple of friends that were in their first video "Smells Like Teen Spirit")

Well, yes, it's Dave Grohl.  And his new band, The Foo Fighters.  And I'm thinking, "Cool, I'm glad to see Dave Grohl moving on since the death of Kurt Cobain)

I watched this video over and over every night.

It was the beginning of my love for Foo Fighters.

Fast Forward to 2011.......

I knew the Foo Fighters were coming to San Diego.  And I wanted to see them so bad.  Their music is AMAZING.

The past two albums I have received as either birthday presents or Mother's Day presents.

A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. music....

Before I became a mom, I vowed to always keep up on the current music, because I firmly believe that music is an integral part of a teenager's life.  I remember being a teenager.  I remember how important music was to me back then.

And I have kept up. 

And luckily, I have a daughter who loves music too.

And not only does she love current music, she loves "vintage" music as well.  She even likes The Beatles!  That's my girl!

And yes, she likes the Foo Fighters.

So a few days before the concert, I decided that I would get tickets.

And take my daughter to the concert.

And so I did.

And we had FUN!

And I enjoyed watching her at her first real rock concert.

And she love it.

And I'm happy that we have that relationship where she would want to go to a rock concert with me, her mom.  

And here we are, at the concert.

So thanks to her staying up so late as a baby, I loved the Foo Fighters from the very beginning. :)

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Happy Birthday Mom

October 11th.

Happy Birthday Mom.

My mom would have been 68 years old today.

She was taken from us WAY too early.

This post is not about sadness.

Today is a day where I celebrate my mom's birthday.

Growing up, on our birthdays we always got to pick whatever we wanted for our birthday dinner and my mom would make that for us.  We usually would have the celebration over at my grandma and grandpa's house.

Every year I asked for spaghetti.

The last year she was alive, I asked for something different.  I asked for tacos.  You know the kind, where the tortillas are cooked in oil. mouth is watering just thinking about them.

And since she died, every year on her birthday I now make tacos like that.  In honor, a celebration of her life. A day to laugh and remember all the wonderful things about my mom.

And every year, my sisters also make tacos on her birthday.  Even though the 3 of us don't live in the same town or state, it's something we do together.  It's a memory that we all share together, those tacos.  Each one of us have our own memories of her and in our own way.  Yes, they intertwine in many, many ways as well, but each of us have our favorite.

Take her tacos for example.  Both my sisters remember her taco sauce that she made.  I can't even tell you all that's in it because I never had it.  I know it has tomato sauce, onions and oregano?

For me, my memory of her tacos was the cheese.  Back when we were growing up, we didn't have much, but my mom would make do with what she had.  I don't think we even had a cheese grater at first, so I always remember my mom basically dicing the cheese into small little squares for the tacos.

I can't wait to have them tonight.

I will write another post about her at another time.

For this time, it's a time to celebrate her birthday.

My mom was an amazing woman, mom and grammie (here she is with both my girls when they were wee ones)

This one picture I captured of the two of them is one of my all-time favorites.  Just sitting on the back patio against the wall talking and enjoying each other.
Happy Birthday Mom.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Feeling Free

I was recently reminded of a time recently......

The other night on Facebook a conversation was going on in which I was involved with.  In that conversation, I was reminded of one particular day........


One day this last summer I drove up to L.A. to pick up my youngest daughter from the airport, as she went on vacation with my sister.

Because of the traffic up in L.A., and the fact that it was a good excuse to take time off from work, I made extra time to go visit a dear friend before picking up my daughter.

He was working in downtown L.A. that day, by MacArthur park.

We got to chat and have a nice visit.  We discussed so many things, in depth talks.  We were sitting on a ledge/half wall in the park.  During that time, we noticed performers preparing to begin their show.  He nodded for me to come watch.

Wow....I was blown away.

I can't even tell you the name of the group, but the energy they provided as they performed made me feel alive.

I stood there, entranced by the music.  The show.  I danced along.  I stayed there as long as I could, as I truly did not want to leave that moment, that event.

Even now, 3 months later, when I think back to that day, I can FEEL the energy, the sense of truly feeling ALIVE.   Feeling like anything is possible.  Wanting to bring my girls to a concert like this.  A feeling of just being free.

And as corny as this sounds, watching that performance, and the static energy all around, I felt like I could get some sense of how it was back in the 60's.  Just feeling FREE.

This is a feeling I want to hold on to.  The feeling that anything is possible.   The feeling that I CAN do this.  The feeling that I want to live life to the fullest.  Fulfill my dreams.  Take chances.  Make my way through life dancing, living, smiling, laughing, even crying, and appreciate everyone in my life around me.