Wednesday, April 4, 2012

On Being A SAHM and Full-Time "Paid" Working Mom



I have been on both ends of this spectrum.

I have seen major debates on the "Stay At Home Mom (SAHM)" and the Full-Time Working Mom.  And thankfully most people are accepting of both.

I used to be a SAHM.  And I loved and cherished every moment of it.  Being able to be there for every little think that my child went through.  Keeping a clean house, meals on the tables.  You know, the whole June Cleaver, 1950's mom.

Yes, I missed being in the workforce and interacting with adults who got paid for their work.

My transition into the workforce was a slow one back.

We had moved out of state and really had no plans to come back.  But after a family member passed away I wanted to come back.  So we did.  And I started to work again.  Granted it was very minor, about 6 hours a week, I think, to start with.  But it was nice to have that little extra cash.

Then, slowly, I started working more hours and eventually I think I was up to 16-20 hours a week.  I worked as a bookkeeper for a private investigator.  My boss was the bomb.  He was SO accommodating to me when it came to my children.  I was able to bring them to work with me, heck, when I had my 2nd girl, he moved me into an office, got me a little portable crib/playpen, so I could bring her into work with me.  I didn't have to pay for childcare, and I was able to be with my girls.  I was able to take them to and from school.  I only would work while they were in school.  They got to come home right after school.

It was the ideal set up for me.

But as we all know, life does not stay the same.

There came a time when it was necessary for me to work full-time.  First it started off at 30 hours a week, and that meant that I needed to put my youngest in after-school care.  It was on the school grounds and so I felt very comfortable with that.  I had hoped to never have to do that, but it is  safe place, she has friends there, and she does her homework there and saves me the battles of having to have her do it at home.  An EXTREME plus in my book with the homework! :P

Then I was provided an opportunity to work full-time, with a different company that was able to pay a little bit more.  See, it was necessary for me to start becoming self-sufficient.  But this was something I wanted to do. Would I have loved to have continued to work part-time and be that "part-time" stay at home mom (if you even want to call it that, because a mom is a full-time position, no matter if you work away from the home ore not)?  Absolutely!  But I also wanted to be able to stand on my own two feet.

I am not one who sits back and lets others do for me, when I am completely capable of doing it myself.

Well, that full-time opportunity that I took, was one of the hardest 10 months of my life.  The owner was very difficult to work for.  In fact, about 2 weeks after I started there, I started putting my resume back out there again to look for something different.

About 10 months later, and 100's of resume's later, I got a call.   A phone interview, then an "in person" interview.  The interview went so well.  The whole weekend I was praying I would get an offer.  Monday morning came, I checked my email and sure enough the offer was there.  I grabbed it in a heartbeat.  This was it.  This was the position I was waiting for.  The position that offered me the best independence I could hope for.  The ability to help me stand on my own two feet.  The chance to work with some wonderful people.

Was the last job difficult?  OH yes, but I wouldn't trade it for the world because it provided me with the knowledge of a program I needed to obtain this job.

And I love this job.

And in the meantime of all of this, I am starting to realize some other dreams of mine.

Like becoming a professional photographer.

And with the EXTREME encouragement of my dear friend, Stacy, I am using my crocheting skills to create items to sell to others.  Hats, scarves, headbands, blankets, and I will be working on some clothing pieces soon too.

I am doing all of this for ME.  But not just for me.  For my girls.  To show them that they can, and should, be able to stand on their own two feet.  To realize that they can go for their dreams.

Empowerment.

Being a positive influence in the world.

1 comment:

  1. It's great getting to know more about you Tina!

    ReplyDelete