Worrying about medical things about me gives me such major anxiety. I could be absolutely fine one day and then if people start talking about medical issues, more specifically about strokes or heart problems and my heart starts racing and my blood pressure gets high.
I have literally taken my blood pressure every couple of days for the past few weeks and it's been absolutely fine.
I also have this "white lab coat syndrome" where most of the time when I go see a doctor to have my blood pressure taken it's high. Which causes them to have me come back in a month. Or every month. I know they are worried about it and I definitely appreciate them worrying about it and that's why I go. I want to make sure I'm as healthy as possible.
I have been walking daily, wearing a weighted belt, dancing around the house at times, using ankle weights to help me and I'll be just fine and then someone brings up medical issues and it goes bezerk.
WHY?! WHY?! Why can't I relax enough?! Why can't I know that I'm doing good?! Why does my anxiety just suddenly happen like that?
I have a therapy appointment tomorrow, thank goodness, so hopefully by talking about it more will help me as well.
Maybe its because other things have been contributing to my anxiety this week as well?
I have a LOT of schoolwork this week and I always worry that I won't have enough time to do it, yet I always end up having the time and I get it done in time.
So why am I worrying about that?
Someone dear to me is getting their 6 month CTscan for cancer on Friday. Maybe I'm worried about that as well. It does always worry me.
I've been on top of things for the most part around the house as well. I even went for an extra walk this afternoon even though it was quite warm out.
Maybe I need to do more exercising to help wear me out as well. I don't know.......
UGH! This just really sucks!
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