Simpler Things

This summer I brought back out the Popsicle molds I have, and by using Kool-Aid, or Juice, I have been making popsicles for the girls.  MUCH cheaper than buying them, that's for sure.

I have been having to go back to doing the "simpler" things in life, for economic reasons.

Growing up, I didn't have much.  I shared a bedroom with my 2 sisters, and my mom raised the 3 of us.  On her own.  We lived in a duplex so we did have a front yard which was very nice for us  It made the little place we lived in feel a little bigger.

Sometimes for dinner we would have soup and corn muffinsr, or peaches and cottage cheese, and my sisters and I thought that was the best!  Little did we know then, that that was all my mom could afford.  But she made things like that seem super special for us.

Sodas were a treat on the weekends, and weekends only.  Heck, going out to dinner was a REAL treat for us then, too, as it did not happen often at all.

I have found myself remembering those time and using them for a reference.

I do have it much better than my mom did, when she raised me and my two sisters.  I am definitely grateful for that.

But as little as we did have, we were happy.  We were grateful for the things we did have (and yes, we did envy our friends who had more, but it seemed they always liked being at our house).

And while being without certain things, we made due with what we had and learned how to do things, that maybe we wouldn't have learned how to do, had we had more things.

For example, I learned how to sew and crochet at a very early age (10).   Something I still need to teach my girls how to do.  Spending summers coloring, doing paint-by-numbers, coloring those HUGS posters with markers (do you remember those?)

A couple of weeks ago I was up in L.A., visiting my friend, Jayde.  While we were talking, some entertainers were getting ready to perform in the park across the street.  He and I went and watch and it was so entertaining to watch!  And the best part?  It was free!

Which got my mind thinking of all the activities that me and my girls could do that were free.  Like partake at a concert in the park.  Or go to the beach (yes, parking is free here in San Diego).  Or go to the park, or the library (as long as we return the books back on time...)

And these days they have these "daily save" emails that you can get from various places where you can buy "coupons" for a ridiculously low price.  I got the girls and I tickets to Knott's Soak City for $15 apiece, which is more than 1/2 off the normal price!  Or 2 for 1 movie tickets.  Or spend $5 and get $10 worth of food at Submarina, and things like that.

In this economy, these things are valuable.  And even more so for me.  Because it makes it possible for me to do these things, that I, otherwise wouldn't be able to afford to do.

It brings me back to when I was young, and also early on when my oldest was little and we had to "economize".    It helps to bring out the "creativity" in me.  To think "outside the box".

And I believe it is a valuable tool to teach my girls.  To help them appreciate more what they DO have.  And yes, they are going to wish they had other things.  They are going to wish they had more.  But, in reality, don't we all?  And that's okay to think that, or wish that, as long we DO appreciate what we DO have, and be grateful for that.

So tell me, what are some of the simpler things in life that you like to do?  I would love any and all of your suggestions.

The Journey.....What Lies Ahead........

Our life is a constant journey.

The journey doesn't end until we do.

Lately I've been feeling a pull in my direction.

It was a little tug, but the more time that goes one, the more I feel that pull.

A pull back into the scrapbooking world, but not like it was before.

Before, for me it was creating pages to showcase the pictures of my girls.  My family.

Wanting the latest and greatest supplies the scrapbooking world had to offer.  But always having it surrounded with family photos.  I am attaching a couple of pages I took a snapshot of, of my work.

Simple pages, really.

But it's what's on those pages that inspire me.

And I'm not just talking about the pictures.

I'm talking about the mediums that are on there.

The paper.....Oooooh, the paper, have always loved the paper.

The embellishments.  Acrylic flowers, brads, flowers, ribbon, and paint.

Such an endless array of items beyond that to create with.

So what if I used those in some sort of way to showcase other things?

I wonder how it would turn out?

Stay tuned, to find out.

What lies ahead for me?  I have no idea.  But I'm looking forward to it.

Life is a journey that you can choose to embrace or fear.  I choose to embrace it.

I choose to embrace it with people in my life who make me smile.   People in my life who make me think.  People who I love for who they are.  People who inspire me.

Choose

A few years ago I started seeing a therapist.

Okay background story..........my mom passed away on December 19, 2004 unexpectedly from a massive stroke.  This was a devastating loss to me and my whole family.  She was our rock.  She was my rock.

On my old blog I have a post describing the day my family scattered her ashes.  You can read it here:
Mom's Ashes

Shortly after that, her estate went through probate and everything was settled.  I received the check in the mail and that day I had my first panic attack.  Needless to say that was the beginning of a long road ahead of me.

I found out through therapy and talking that I had really had suffered from anxiety for a long time, this just brought it all to the forefront.  It was a long road that I hope I never go through again.  Suffering from anxiety and panic attacks can literally be paralyzing.  It took a few years for me to really get over it.  That and a wonderful therapist who I cherish.

She also gave me a word that I took ownership of.

"CHOOSE"

People always say "I have to do this" or "I have to do that".  When in reality most of the time you don't.

 It is something you are CHOOSING to do.

So when my beautiful friend Stacy had a "Word of the Year" necklace at her shop Bella Wish, I wanted one.  But for the longest time I couldn't come up with MY word.  Then all of the sudden I realized MY word was standing there right in front of me.   CHOOSE.

My life has changed a LOT since last year.  And I chose to handle it in my own way.

We don't always get what we want and a lot of the time we have to work hard for it.  But it's a choice we are making to do that.

I was talking with a good friend of mine the past couple of days.  I was helping them with their problem and I realized that I needed a little help myself.  My friend and I think a LOT alike, and it was in their words to me to help me to realize that I had a choice.  And I took ownership of that.  And I chose to take control of it.

When life gets to be a little hairy, remember that you have a choice.  Step back, gain perspective, realize you do have a choice.  Maybe there is a situation that is beyond your control and there is nothing you can do about it, but you DO have a choice in how you handle it.

And to my friend, if you are reading this, thank you again for helping me to realize my choice. :)

I've Come A Long Way Baby......

.....So Far......

I had lunch with a dear friend the other day and she reminded me of a lot of things.

The number one thing?  How far I've come in a year's time.

This time last year I was contemplating a major life decision.   Something that I did NOT enter into lightly.  As she reminded me, we "Taurus people", do not do anything lightly.  We think about it, we analyze it into the ground. We think of all the different scenarios that could possibly happen with each event we plan, or each decision we make.

So while it was a hard decision, it was the right one.

I remember last year talking with her and another friend about it in the mornings (as well as some family members and a few other close friends) and they both reminded me that I am a strong person and I can and will get through it.

And while some things have not turned out exactly how I would have liked them too,  that's not to say that it still can't happen.


My house......I was telling my friend how I'm almost done with the living room and she reminded me that last year around this time, I had done NOTHING with it yet.  So yes, I can definitely see progress in that.  I know there are other things I want to do with it and I will get them done, in time.

Photography.......That, I feel, will come in time, when I am able to devote more time to it and slowly build up my portfolio.

Coronado Orange......My etsy shop.  Sadly it has severely suffered and I have not created anything to sell in a couple of years.  I do have plans in the works and have ideas of what I want to create to reopen it hopefully by the fall.

Bookkeeping.......My goal is to be an bookkeeper to a few exclusive clients.  I don't want to spread myself too thin and not be able to give them the quality that they deserve.  I have one client right now, with a potential of another one soon.

My girls.......I know this has been hard on my girls.  It's never easy on anyone.  I try to keep as much of a routine with them as possible and, after a year, I feel they really do seem to be settling down.  I know that a lot of anxiety that used to be there is no longer there, which does reiterate the fact that the decision was a good one to make.

My life.......I just keep smiling. :)

While there have obviously been a few bumps in the road, I am overcoming them, I am learning from them and working on learning to take those bumps in the road with better clarity.

Nothing

I've had many a thought in my head today.  I've tried to figure out how to put it down into words and the words keep failing me.

So this post is about "Nothing" in particular.

The word "Nothing" reminds me of the TV Show, "Seinfeld".  Remember that episode about where they were going to create a show about NOTHING?

Sometimes it's best to do nothing.  Not a SINGLE DAMN THING.

Sometimes, even though you WANT to do something, sometimes, the best thing is to actually do nothing.

Let those thoughts settle in your head.

Give it a day or two to ponder on those thoughts.  Because, more often than not, those thoughts might become more clearer as the day or two passes.

I KNOW what I want to do, but sometimes it's not always a good thing to act on that.

I learned this from a good friend of mine who I have been good friends with for almost 4 years now.  This friend and I have had many a talk over the years, and I have learned quite a bit from this friend.  Granted there are those times when this friend is wrong, but for the most part, I have received good advice.

And doing "Nothing"  is one thing this friend taught me.   And it's not about avoidance or anything like that.

Judy to be put aside for the time being.

So that's what I'm going to do.

Nothing.

And you never know.  Maybe in a few days life will happen and those thoughts won't even need to be re-examined.

Roller Coaster

A beautiful sweet soul of a mermaid introduced me to this song/video years ago.  I often find myself returning to it for a "reality check"

I am an emotional person.

That's it, plain and simple.

For the most part I am on an even, level keel, and yes, a smart ass to the core.

But something happens to throw me off the even, level keel of a course?

Oh, watch out.

I'm not saying that I go ballistic, but I do react.

And sometimes I overreact.

But guess what.   That's WHO I AM.

Yes, once I calm down from the situation there may be times where I look back and say, "What the hell?  Why did I freak out like that?"  And sometimes, yes, MAYBE sometimes I will apologize for overreacting.

But, AGAIN, that's WHO I AM.

Life IS a roller coaster.

Like Jem says, "Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down"

And when I get faced with an unknown, or a deviation from the route, I go a little haywire.

My friend, Travis, calls me moody.

Yea, probably.

For the most part I am a happy person with a smile on  my face that people say they like.  I get compliments on it.  They say it makes them smile, they say that my smile makes my whole face smile.

But even the smiley people have to have their moments too.

I'm not your "run of the mill" person.

I am who I am.  I am passionate.  I am dorkalicious, I am independent, I am needy, I am confident, I am unsure, I am a disco-loving, rollerskating-loving girl.  I love hockey.  I used to collect hockey trading cards,  I used to collect Fisher Price Little People.  I love to help people.  I am a photographer.  I am a bookkeeper, I love to create,  I wear my heart on my sleeve.  I am stubborn, dammit, I am ME.

Yes, there are times where I wish I could be numb because sometimes that rollercoaster gets a little scary with those hairpin turns.

So yea.

That's me.

And if you don't like it.  Well, that's not my problem, that's yours.

A quote that I read once sums it up, "If you can't handle me at my worst, you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best"

And my best is "da bomb".

Lizards and Crickets

Lizards.

I HATE lizards.

A few years ago there was one in my house and I had to have my friend come over at get it for me.  And it was a BABY lizard.

BLECH!

So yesterday, I was leaving to go out for a bit and I go to open up my screen door and there is a lizard ON my screen door.  And I'm thinking, "Okay, it's on the outside, I'm freaking out a little bit, but I can handle this".  NOOOOOOO.......it's on the INSIDE of my screen door.   AND my front door is OPEN, meaning it's IN my house!  ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::SHUDDER:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::.

So what do I do?  I slam the front door!  No way in hell am I taking a chance on having that thing come in MY house!  I'm getting the willies just thinking about it!  

Now, mind you I do have a dog and a cat, but the cat would probably just scare it in a corner or something and I'd never get the thing out of my house.

So I went out the back door, walked around to the front of the house, unlock the screen open up the screen door and the damn thing still would NOT. GET. OFF. MY. SCREENDOOR.

Now what.......

I found a pushbroom and got it off that way and prayed to god that it would leave the area by the time I got back.

:::::::::::::::::::shudder::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Thankfully it did.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Crickets......

Crickets give me the willies too.  They hop for crying out loud!  BLECH!

Back when my mom was alive and I was living with her for a bit, we had a problem with crickets in the house.  Me and my sister both can't stand them.   So everytime we saw one in the house, we would get the phone book and just drop it on the crickets.  Killed 'em right quick.

Then we would wait for our mom to get home so she could get them from underneath the phonebooks.

I'm not joking.

They freaked us out THAT much.

Now................when it comes to spiders?  Yes, I don't like them either, but I have learned to kill them myself.  Depending on what they are.

Some, I actually just leave alone.  They help me kill other bugs.

Which is a very good thing for me.

Because I can't stand bugs.

They bug me.